Miles "Takes Exception with Accuracy", Strathmore, Alberta, Canada

Who: Miles, 17 months

What: yellow bib; 60% cotton, 40% poly, size small, good condition, stained with sweet potatoes and love

When: October 2009

Where: Walmart in Rexburg, ID, via Grandma Conrad

Why: Between June and December 2009, Grandma and Grandpa Conrad got 3 new grandbabies, and I was the lone boy in the bunch. Grandma Conrad had already bought my girl cousins frilly bibs with phrases reading, "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" and total baloney like "Girls Rule. Boys Drool." Luckily for me, the boy bibs mainly said things like, "Who Needs Sleep?" and "Trouble is my Middle Name." Of course, "Trouble" isn't really my middle name. It's Conrad, which is Grandma's last name.

One day, Grandma asked my mom what my middle name was, and Mom thought Grandma was joking. Mom said something sarcastic like 'Johannson' and Grandma looked confused. Mom then reminded Grandma that I was Miles Conrad Harper and not Miles Johannson Harper. So, friends, while my yellow bib may seem merely a quippy drip guard to you, it may be Grandma's ticket to remembering what she thinks my name is . . .